This has been a week full of emotion. Rachel is preparing to graduate, dead-ends with team mates/employees, sudden adoption court date for H, and the loss of K and M.

We knew it was a possibility that K and M would never come into our home. Politics and money often triumph over the needs of children. We also knew that life in an orphanage/institution leads to many problems for children.

So, we began to pray. We prayed that K and M would either be released to come home with us or they would be able to return to their Ethiopian family. We were told this week that the regional government removed them from the orphanage and placed them back in the home of their mother.

Most of the time I don’t even know how to feel. I am heartbroken and glad at the same time. For two years, I’ve watched these two kids grow. K was 3 years old and M was 6 months old when their mother took them to the orphanage. I am trying to find joy in the news that they are once again with their mom, who loves them very much. My struggle is knowing that the “reunification” of families was forced by the region regardless of families being able to care for their children. (According to our Ethiopian lawyer, this practice began after the region asked families to retrieve their children and very few acted on the recommendation.)

I do believe that the best place for K and M is in Ethiopia in the home of their family. It is a struggle knowing they will never be in our home. The loss is great. As a family, we talked about life with K and M. We had dreams of a life together. Everything from pictures drawn to stories written included K and M. Their pictures are on my phone, computer, refrigerator. Their clothes are washed and neatly folded in their drawers.

My prayers for K and M continue. I pray that their mom will be able to support them. I pray that they will know God as Father. I pray for peace to come into their turbulent lives.

As for me, I’m learning what it means to completely surrender everything. A life lived only to satisfy myself is a very sad life. I want to see and experience His greatness in the struggle. Through each valley I travel through, I’m learning to trust my Father more and more.

~Regina